Drugs & Alcohol

As a parent, it is important to be able to distinguish normal teenage experimentation from addiction. Normal experimentation, while concerning to parents, is a normal phase many teens experience. Overreacting to this normal stage of development can create difficulties in your relationship with your child. You do not ignore the behavior. You clearly communicate your expectations and you can limit your child’s freedom until you develop trust again. But you don’t want to drag your child off to detox or call police if what you are facing is normal experimentation.

Addiction, however, is a serious concern. This is usually accompanied by very noticeable changes in your child’s overall behavior. Addicts may change their entire peer group. They may demonstrate difficulty in eating or sleeping, may want to isolate themselves from family activities such as dinner, and may even engage in some extreme rebellious behavior, such as stealing, taking the car without permission, completely ignoring curfew, not coming home at night, and aggressive behavior for no apparent reason. When your child begins to consistently display these correlated behaviors, he or she may be in serious trouble and you should consult a drug and alcohol specialist who has extensive experience with young people.

So, what can you do? If you suspect normal adolescent experimentation, then you continue as I have been advocating all along. You become an Empowered Parent by refraining from using the Deadly Habits with your child. Complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing and bribing will likely be unsuccessful and will only further widen the gap with your child. What you need at this point is a nurturing, caring, influential relationship with your child.

Sometimes I think the biggest thing to drive a wedge between you and your child is amnesia. Parents seem to “forget” what it was like to be a teenager or the reverse can be true. Parents remember only too well as adults the temptations they were exposed to as teens and are trying to protect their children from experiencing those same temptations.

Another area of information is to avail yourself of opportunities to learn about the current drug culture. Find out the slang being used. Find out what the current drugs of choice are for teens. We’ve had a resurgence of heroine use among some middle and upper class teens in this country. I can remember when huffing became popular and children were sniffing normal household products. This was good information to have as a parent. You might not think anything of finding whipped cream containers empty in the refrigerator or your child using an excessive amount of air fresheners. Talk to people in the field, talk to the police and talk to other kids to find out what is happening today. You will be surprised to learn it is quite different than when you were in the game.

Make sure you talk to your child about drugs and alcohol and your expectations surrounding their use. Let them know your concerns.

For more information about this subject check out our Empowerment Parenting Home Study Course or eBook